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A spouse's perspective on ADHD

Well, I am a nurse, and I am a wife, and a mother of four kids, and my husband has ADHD.  ADHD impacts my life significantly, with my husband. When we are trying to manage finances, plan trips, raise kids, it has a huge impact. It's not simple.


Ben was diagnosed with ADHD about four years ago. That was after I had been prompting him for six months to get some help, and it came to a pivotal point where I was ready to just kind of give up on the relationship. After the birth of our last child, I felt so overwhelmed with trying to manage two little boys 18 months apart, plus our other two kids, and feeling like I also have to manage him, and keep him on track. I felt like his mother instead of his wife.

There were lots of signs for ADHD. Many times, I would tell Ben that I really believed he had ADHD and would encourage him to get some help. Several times, we would go to counseling, just because I was so frustrated, and we would go through counseling, and focus on our relationship, but really, I think the underlying tone was that there was something undiagnosed. There was nobody saying to him, "Hey, do you think maybe you have ADHD, or there's something else, and maybe you should go get some testing?

With the diagnosis of ADHD, Ben was seeing a psychiatrist for the medications, and that's really all they did, was manage medications. There was no counseling at first. There was no other tool provided to him. In moving to the local area, he had to change providers, which was great now, in retrospect, because with his provider, he was able to connect with a counselor there, and he was asking for more tools and resources. Through that process, one of the counselors that he was seeing knew someone who had gone through Progressive Therapy Associates, and said, "Hey, I think this might be of benefit to you."

Through this process, I've learned that there are a lot of individuals who are missing out on therapies that could be helpful, that it doesn't just have to be medications. It doesn't have to be that you're ignoring it. There's all kinds of different things that you can do, and when you aren't getting those tools and resources, you're missing out on a full life. The other thing about it is that ADHD impacts the whole family, and if I'm ignoring the symptoms I see in my husband, I could be ignoring the symptoms I see in my children.

Ben is more than ADHD. He's a great man. He's a great dad. He's a great husband. He's a great chaplain. But people didn't see that, because he was all over the place. My husband would say that if I hadn't encouraged him to seek out resources and help, that he would have never done it.

We see individuals with ADHD, traumatic brain injury, and concussion as well as stroke.

When people think about speech language pathology, they typically think about speech disorders or language challenges, which speech therapists can do, but here, we've just chosen to focus more on the cognitive aspect and when I say that, I mean things to do with focus and memory, speed of processing, planning, problem solving, organization, all those daily skills that help you to really function and organize your life.

If you're someone who's struggling with attention or memory or planning for instance, for a variety of reasons, you can self-refer. You can pick up the phone and call us at 701-356-7766. You can find us on our website and submit your information and come for a free consultation or your primary care doctor can also refer you for treatment at Progressive Therapy Associates.

Free Consultation
Qualified therapists

Our dedicated team of speech-language pathologists are specially trained in speech therapy as it relates to cognitive-communication issues (how you listen, process, focus, remember, and communicate). We are also nationally certified by the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association, are nationally recognized by the Brain Injury Association of America and are Certified Brain Injury Specialists (CBIS). We are licensed to practice in both North Dakota and Minnesota. We believe every patient deserves the best treatment and support we can offer in every single contact and interaction with us.

Individual approach

We recognize that no two people have the same needs and that everyone has different learning styles. That’s why we like to call our approach “the Progressive way,” which means we will happily customize treatment plans to meet the unique needs of the individual and their family. We also believe in “the right fit” between patient and therapist, so will make every effort to match you with a clinician who connects with you, understands you, and utilizes a therapy style that is comfortable for you.

We are here to help

Depending on the goals you wish to accomplish and the learning pace that is most comfortable for you, we will arm you with the evidence-based strategies, proven skills and ample support you need to feel more organized, prepared and effective. Therapy strategies may range from recommendations for specific tools (such as timers or planners), one-on-one brainstorming and problem-solving to address concerns, therapeutic activities as well as computer trials or worksheets to help strengthen cognitive and executive functions like attention, memory, and planning.

Coaching with compassion

We know that working on cognitive-communication issues is hard work and that it can be easy to feel defeated or overwhelmed by the challenges of building a more efficient brain. However, you will not be in this alone. We are not just speech-language pathologists; we are fellow human beings who care about you, your journey, and your success. We don’t want an appointment to feel like you’ve been sent to the principal’s office. Instead, you’ll find a comfortable space where you’ll feel listened to and understood. And because humor makes everything more bearable, be prepared to laugh and joke a bit too!